Its after 11 PM and I am settling down for the night (early for a change) – Ok not early enough for my tastes but early than lately.  As I showered I had this burning urge to write about the importance of making time for those you love.  I’m thinking, OK its been a long day, I’ll get to it in the morning.  Well, I know how my inner spirit works and usually I regret not moving on things when urged.  So here I am passing this message to those who will listen.

I was reflecting back over the summer months, even further than I would imagine my mind traveling in this brief moment before I found myself sitting at my computer to share something with you.  I recalled the visit from my sister recently and the time we spent with our children together.  The smiles, the laughing, the late night talks the good food and sharing.  I also found myself looking at how my children are growing up so fast!  In less than a couple of years my oldest will be considered an adult (by age standards) and my twins – oh how they have grown. 

I remember going every day to the hospital holding them, singing to them, praying over them to hurry and grow so they could come home because they were born early at 30 weeks gestation.  Now at 10, they are healthy, strong and thriving.  Actually my oldest twin made honor roll TWICE!!  His sister missed it but made higher testing scores (go figure).  I can say the same for my youngest son who was also a preemie but looking at him, you wouldn’t have known it.  I swear his intelligence and common sense floors me.  He’s definitely an old soul.  My second oldest, the gentle bear of the family.  He’s the most loving and nurturing young man I know for his age and they all make me so proud.

I thought to myself, you know – I don’t care how tough it gets – I am blessed and the luckiest person in the world.  We don’t have a lot of flashy things but we have what matters most and that’s love and respect for one another.  Don’t get me wrong, we are NOT a perfect family.  We have our days and then I have my own outside of the days with them.  No matter how much I count the three (ok two) nerves I think I have left, I make time and wouldn’t trade what I have for nothing in the world!  The grass IS greener from where I sit.  Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with our loved ones that we trade them in for something we think is different.  Sometimes we act as though they don’t exist.  Sometimes, we even look them in the eyes and treat them so – as though we don’t want to make the time for them.

Sitting down having meals with my children (which is 98% of the time), watching their faces, listening to their conversations and opinions makes me grateful for being able to do so.  Yes, I am a single parent with five children and Yes its not enough time in the day (believe me I know this better than anyone).  BUT, I make time for what’s important. I make time for me, although I’d like more of it.  Wait a minute (sending message to the universe as I type to double ME TIME).   I make time for my children, my family, and my friends. We all should make time for the things that matters most to us, don’t you think?  I certainly do.

One day I was speaking with someone who was deathly ill and they shared something valuable with me.  They said that if they could do anything differently they would wish that they made time for the people that mattered the most to them.  They would not have wasted time letting ill feelings take so many years away from them and their loved ones.  They said they wished they had said I’m sorry.  They wished they had not made excuses for not spending time or attending their children’s special events and acknowledgements.  How many of us are already feeling this way and to our knowledge – isn’t knocking on death’s door?  Why wait for that day?  Who say’s you will know before hand if you will get that chance or time.

Take a moment to reflect back and see where you can improve in the areas of your life where you can make the time.  Are you chasing the all mighty dollar to the point you have lost your direction on the road to what matter’s most?  Are you making excuses to not listen to your child’s excitement over the things that matters most to them?  Even if its how they figured out how to ride a bike you weren’t there to witness.  How many times did you spend time with the fella’s or your girl friends when that special someone could have used your opinion or support on something that was troubling them?  How many would rather stay late at work to avoid going home and making time for what’s needed of them there?

There are so many reasons why there isn’t enough time in the day but there isn’t nearly enough reasons not to make time for what matter’s most.  School starts in my area shortly (yeah – I know for many who are wondering that’s a short summer).  And I was shopping for clothes for the kids early (and you all can imagine shopping for five on a tight budget what that’s like – running to every sale and store who has one with all of the kids in tow).  Well, what stands out in my mind to share with you about this is how my youngest two son’s were persuasively suggesting that I buy these cool shirts they saw that came with little radios.  They were cheap little radios that left me wondering if they really would work AFTER you bought the shirts.  For the life of me, I couldn’t get them to let it go and wondered why they would want the little pieces of junk (or at least in my mind). 

But then it occurred to me, that’s kids for ya!  They don’t care about cost (even tho these were El-cheapo), whether it might work for a minute or a week later.  They just thought it was cool and wanted it.  I said, OK like a sucker (LOL), well the $10 bucks sold me.  Anyway, they wanted to open the shirts with the toys up immediately.  I said no, wait until school starts.  I don’t know why that came out of my mouth (LOL).  They looked at me like I was crazy and said why?  Then it occurred to me, why make them wait to enjoy something today that may not be promised tomorrow.  It made me think about that fact that nothing is really guaranteed or promised to any of us.

So back to my point.  Whether its something mundane as the example I just gave or something more serious.  Make the time for what matters most.  Enjoy those you love and cherish the time with them NOW.  Watching the joy in their little eyes and excitement of hearing Beyonce on the little radio with other songs thrilled them to death.  Yeah, I know a month from now those little radio’s may be in file 13 in a corner of their room but I am enjoying them and their happy time right now. 

Don’t wait until its too late.  Once today is gone, you know you can’t get that time back even if you wanted to.  Don’t consciously create your regrets when you have power to act in the moment.  Remember every moment does eventually count, so make the time and enjoy doing it with those who matters most.

Have a good night!

   Summer is still in swing for some of us folks here in the South, but it’s soon to come to an end in a little over a month.  In my district, the children start school the first week of August and I suspect the same or shortly thereafter for other surrounding counties, so for us…..it is almost literally the end of summer as we know it.  But for those of you northerners or folks west of us, enjoy the time with your families, have gratitude and make it a priority to prepare for the months ahead. 

Why? Well this coming year (2008-2009) is going to be a challenging year “I predict” for education across the board.  We will see more education treated more as a ”luxury” than treated as a necessity and bases for all.  Believe me I cringe at the thought of that reality as I am a student like many of you reading this and have my own educational expenses.  There will be lots of disappointing news to surface as far as the educational system in our country in the news this year BUT solutions will be forced (by parents, civic leaders, educators, etc.) to be found or shall we say –  not let this one slip through the cracks.  Thank God for that!  Believe me, as a country we are very blessed and WE CAN DO ANYTHING TOGETHER to improve our educational system if we work as a single unit (parents and educators, politicians and communities).

However, we as parents (and I know some of you single parents like me will feel it perhaps the hardest) will need to saddle up with backup plans to assist our kids with all the help they need this year and coming years ahead to keep them competitive.  Take advantage of tutors, online study guides, library resources and the like to enable your child to excel.  We often think that one resource – the video and computer exposure as a negative thing.  It can be if not utilized productively.  But many children are learning and improving via this medium.  For example, I ran across a recent article on this and you can visit the site by going to:  http://www.xplanazine.com/2008/04/improve-reading- skills-with-computer-and-video-games.   I know for me personally, this was a helpful with one of my kids in generating the interest and confidence for them to pick up the books and run with them.  

If a child is having problems reading and comprehending (which personally I feel is the foundation of alot of our issues with education in the grade school stage in our country), a child can become frustrated and discouraged and loose interest in reading the books from the start.  So in some cases this may be a helpful solution if the software/programs are designed this way.  So go with your intuition first and also consider thinking outside the box and apply logic and common sense – believe me you won’t go wrong.

Finally, for those parents who pack lunches everyday as I do, please…..please…….please………make sure the food is clean and handled properly.  I foresee problems or more of them shall we say with bacterial contamination with food surging in the cafeteria’s.  So this goes out to those food service folks to take EXTRA steps to handle food properly, maintain food at proper temperatures, etc. to avoid more outbreaks with strains of E.coli and other bacteria.  I’d love to be dead wrong on this one because I know what a hot mess this can be with a whole lot of sick-stomached kids at school and at home.  So a heads-up on preventive measures for that.

Lastly….yes I know I said I was finished <smile>, Parents we should do some heavy talking with our children about respecting their peers, their peers cultural differences and learning to appreciate the richness of diversity this country has.  Unfortunately, I see more negative acts towards one another in this regard with the kids in the schools across the country as we approach the elections/end of the year.  But we can do something about that if we are “conscious of the energy” at work.  Believe me the dominant energy always takes the lead and we can shift that energy at ANY TIME if its not to our liking.

In the meantime……enjoy the ride!