Authentic living is as real as you can get. It’s the original, organic, and should come naturally to you – way of being. Many people today find themselves living outside of their comfort zones, attempting to meet expectations that don’t reflect who they are, their values, or their genuine interests. At best, a person can be something they’re not for so long. Eventually, they cave due to deprivation of mandatory needs and the suffocation from not being themselves. If you’ve worn shoes that don’t fit for long periods, then you will understand how painful and uncomfortable living an inauthentic life will become.

You’ll know when you’ve reached your limit because you can no longer tolerate what feels wrong for you. You can’t ignore the obvious and faking it no longer becomes an option. However, everyone experiences the change in different time intervals. For some, you may begin to live a life that secretly reflects what you want. Even secrets have timers on them. For others, you may hold on to your current ways out of fear, rejection, uncertainty, until you are forced to do something – anything for relief. The point is you eventually begin to feel worn down to the point and can’t take it anymore. This way is not how you go about it, folks! Trust me, it ain’t gonna work for the long game!

Fortunately, more people are finding a sense of salvation in their truth, not other people’s truths. And this momentum will continue to gain speed. We are in a new era of awareness and honesty, ready or not it will be given. Never dull yourself down, dim your light, or lead a life based on someone else’s expectations, desires, or preferences. By doing so, you live someone else’s truth.

You came here to be you (good or bad as they say). And you get to decide what organically feels right for you. Yes, the landscape may change, but the purpose behind the desire won’t. Your natural inclination is to be true to yourself, and that won’t change. Actually, it will continue to burn bright in the belly of your being and will be hard to ignore.

Many people live their lives and have beliefs based on other people’s perceptions or based on what they were told. And because of that, you’ll likely feel lost and wonder where you fit because you are not living your truth, but somebody else’s. Be yourself, whatever, and whoever that is that feels natural and comfortable for you. Some people won’t get you, while others who resonate with you will embrace you. Go where you are celebrated, embraced, and accepted for who you are.

“Never tolerate the intolerable. You always deserve more than you allow yourself to receive.” 

If you feel stuck in the skin you’re in, which doesn’t reflect who you genuinely are, change that. If you feel suffocated by expectations, and habits that go against the grain of your desires and comfort, do something about it. Use your free will to change things. If you think there is more to life than what you are experiencing, then it’s time for a redo. A mental make-over is in order with some action steps to support the changes needed.

The longer you take to embrace what works or feels right for you, the longer you prolong your happiness and diminish your wellbeing. But hang on, there’s no need to stress. I have five ways to help you organically and comfortably ease into living a more authentic and fulfilling life, no matter who you are:

1) Be Honest With yourself – Even if It’s Uncomfortable

Changing any harmful habit or improving anything requires your honesty about the need to do so in the first place. Living a lie has a shelf life on it, and while we can circumvent our lives around it, lots of damage occurs in the interim, believe it. Save yourself the hassle and the clean-up job down the road and be honest about what needs to change or improve, and dare to do it.

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2) Get Your Priorities In Order

Become an active participant in your life with the things that matter most to you, starting with your needs first. If you have a family or small children, this can seem selfish and challenging to do. Yes, it will be hard at first, but it’s necessary – no, mandatory. Why? Because they benefit by default of you performing your best and showing up daily. You need to be at your best for your family/partner/job/friends for things to go smoothly. Attachments (family/lovers/partners/friends) add more to your management, but the delivery is the same. You need to take care of yourself, so everyone else benefits from what you do. And in the event of life’s challenges (because there will be some), you’re likely to bounce back more readily from a half-full tank than a depleted one.

Reorganize your priorities. Being busy for the sake of being busy by habit or overcommitment is foolhardy. Trim down that list of commitments to a manageable one. If necessary, get help and delegate some of these obligations that must be done. Get back to what will allow you to function at your best and live a more comfortable way of life. In other words, clear your table and reset it with the things that will bring you joy all the time. No need to hope or wait for special occasions to enjoy life. Set your table to enjoy life’s offerings daily.

3) Live Out Loud – Walk Your Talk, Beliefs, and Truth

If you require honesty, generosity, kindness, and dependability in your life, then be that person. Allow those who are the same in your life. If you’re not a liar or a thief, a fake, or fairweather friend, then don’t accept those types of people into your life, period! There’s no need to tolerate harmful or negative behavior, succumb to somebody’s version of how you should live your life, or worse, never have the courage to be and do what you’re capable of doing. Living an authentic life is also about “walking the talk of who you say you are.” It’s not about anyone else, literally or figuratively. You are in this one alone, so milk it, baby! Only you can make your life fulfilling and satisfying. And you get to choose whose capable of adding value to come along for the ride.

4) Grow with Your Flow

As you grow, your flow of how you deal with life and your needs will change. Authentic living mandates that you adjust to the genuine aspects of who you are at all times, and be fully engaged. No part-time living here! You won’t be happy if you’re only showing up in your life part-time and half-assed!

Naturally, we all grow, some appearing to make faster progress with more awareness than others, but eventually, we all get there. No need to keep up with the Jones’, or outdo somebody else. There is enough in this Universe for anyone who believes and seizes their opportunity. The thing about opportunity is that it will always show up when you have a strong desire for something. So don’t get caught up in reality too much and nullify what you are capable of attracting.

Be sure to recognize, acknowledge, and adjust your needs according to the necessary changes required. You’re an amazing human being, despite your flaws (we all have them). Fact: No one is above repute despite how it looks on social media or put out to the public. We’re all fallible, and no one should test the waters of throwing stones from their glasshouses.

But you, oh beautiful soul, at any time, can do wondrous things no matter how big or small, with the free will to make it happen. Use it and let it reflect the genuine nature of who you are and desire to be.

5) Follow-Up and Follow-Through No Matter What

This last step is where the rubber meets the road. Everything is mute if you fail to keep true to who you are with what you do and how you do it. Doing you by walking your talk reflects your individual need and way of making yourself happy and fulfilled – how you honor yourself. When you honor yourself, it’s the icing on the cake of “what works for you.” Your life begins to take on a healthier perspective, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The inner peace manifests itself outwardly.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes we can talk ourselves into a good game of “Let me tell you what I’m gonna do” and never get around to doing it. And at times, the game plan changes. Fine, adjust yourself. But sometimes it takes pure courage to live authentically, fearless of what anyone says or believes about you. And sometimes, you can initiate actions but fail to keep the momentum going or stop trying along the way, not staying true to yourself or your needs. If you stop, you can always restart.

Living an authentic life requires your active and consistent participation. Everyone’s backstory is different, despite some hardships having similar tones and themes. Each person processes their life experience through their filters and perceptions. But one thing is sure; no matter who you are, where you come from, and despite any hardships of your journey. You can choose to embrace and live an authentic life that is true to you at any time, period.