Or Be Destined to Mess Up Again!
Why Healing First is Important before You Jump Into Another Relationship?
As human beings, one of the most beautiful experiences in life is developing relationships that provide love and support throughout our journey. The benefits from a healthy relationship are countless, and many of us dream of having a loving partnership with someone who we can share our love and lives with unconditionally. With the possibility of a new relationship, also comes the potential for heartbreak and challenges – preventing some of us from taking the leap of faith needed to give our hearts to another person. While difficult lessons are inevitable, it is important to understand how to grow through them instead of being broken down by them. This is why you should heal your heart first.
One of the first steps to enjoying a healthy relationship is to do the personal work needed to heal first before jumping into something serious. Every person has their history of ups and downs that lead to scars, insecurities, and fears surrounding relationships. After all, you cannot know light without the darkness, and going through challenges in life is what opens us up to even greater possibilities of love, success, and happiness.
However, when we bring these unhealed emotional wounds into a new relationship, we make it infinitely more difficult to open our hearts to another. So, how exactly do we heal? How do we know when we have grown enough to be ready for a relationship? The answers to these questions are unique to each person, but consider the following steps to getting on the path to healing:
Allow Yourself Time to Grieve
Whether you are recovering from emotional trauma or the devastation of a failed relationship, permitting yourself to grieve is the first step towards healing. Embrace your emotions, both good and bad, and give yourself the space you need to process your experiences. There’s nothing wrong with receiving comfort and nurturing during your grieving period (however you need). However, don’t use loneliness as an excuse not to grieve and heal completely. Loneliness can play some wicked tricks on you making you feel you want something or someone until the reality of all that comes with it settles in, leaving you feeling overwhelmed, angry and frustrated.
Spend Time Alone
For some people, spending time alone might mean going on a solo travel adventure to get a change of scenery. I did this for myself (took a little foreign adventure) and was left wild-eyed, refreshed and felt quite liberated! I encourage you to try traveling to a foreign place or different locale. You will gain more knowledge and a broader perspective. For others, alone time could be as simple as taking time to meditate and decompress from the stress of life. If you can’t get physically away, make sure to make time to take a break from your day-to-day routines and practice self-care. Regardless of how you spend your alone time, solo soul-searching is a vital aspect of healing your inner self. During this time, take a good honest look at yourself and address what comes up such as jealousy, insecurity, controlling behavior, and trust issues. I have a great coaching audio Healing Your Relationships: Fostering Trust and Eliminating Jealousy available for purchase and download.
Give Yourself Time
Nothing happens overnight, and healing from emotional damage is no exception. We’ve all heard the phrase “time heals all wounds”, but what time actually does is give us enough distance from the trauma to have a new perspective. Healing may take months or years, but allowing yourself to go through the journey without judgment is essential. When you are in a better place and ready for a relationship, there is no emotional baggage interfering with your ability to “just be” and positively experience the new relationship. Why? Because you know you have the power over your happiness and who you allow in your life. If something is amiss, you know that the Universe will reveal it to you so you can make the swift corrective action needed. You can indeed enjoy the relationship experience and be in the moment. After all, you’re the gatekeeper, and if you don’t like something in your life, you can remove it at any time. All of life is a journey, and healing sometimes is never a straight path. Through twists and turns and new beginnings, we find ourselves evolving into an even greater version of our true self.
If you’d like to get a get prepared for the ultimate love relationship and jumpstart on your own personal path to healing, sign up for my online relationship course, Love for Life 360: The Relationship Readiness Program which begins Spring 2018!