You Won’t Regret It!
Do you find yourself continually going against the grain? This is when you inwardly are fighting your heart or gut instinct about what you need or what feels right for you. It doesn’t matter what the catalyst is (fear, avoiding a mistake, conditioning, judgment, etc.) – you still do it. A typical example of this: you’re in your head, overanalyzing or rationalizing everything about the situation or decision except for what feels right. Everyone has done this from time to time, and some circumstances will require that you take time to review your options carefully. In this case, I expect you to take your time and move cautiously.
However, I’m not talking about reasonable contemplation and introspection when needed. I’m referring to times when you ignore what feels right for you – most or all the time. This isn’t healthy and leads to confusion or you doing everything for everyone except yourself. There’s no proof that long contemplation, extensive research, or cross-analysis will guarantee no mistakes made — a reduction of errors perhaps, but certainly no guarantee. Don’t get me wrong; caution coupled with precision and performance is great and can provide awesome rewards. But, underlying dissatisfaction, a lack of personal happiness, and fulfillment is something different entirely.
So, let’s talk about what works for you and offers results that makes you happy …
When you are honest about your needs, and ensure they are satisfied, it’s a win-win! It doesn’t matter the situation, pick a category; personal, professional, spiritual, emotional, physical … you will be satisfied. Your needs are like oxygen, water, and food – all vital for your existence. The same goes for your other “mandatory needs” to function healthily, be genuinely happy and content, and to thrive. I don’t know of anyone (yet) who’s needs weren’t met for an extended period, and they didn’t seek out methods of satisfying them. But why wait or allow yourself to be deprived to the point of distress and desperation? And deprivation of your needs will lead to misery, which can show up in a variety of ways.
Everyone has needs and specific ones that require them to grow and thrive. And everyone’s needs are different, which is why it’s essential to have the right people and situations that support your needs. Sometimes others may not agree or like what works for you. It’s OK, find those who are positive and of like-mind who will support you. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you’re only required to do what works best for you regarding your needs, not what others think or prefer. The bottom line is, you have to decide what works for you and what feels right to you. After all, you have to live with your decisions. Wouldn’t it make sense to be happy with those decisions instead of feeling guilt, anger, or resentment because you did what others expected or wanted? The latter is exactly what you will feel if you deprive your basic needs.
[bctt tweet=”The thing about individual needs is that no two are exactly alike, can be delivered the same or satisfy everyone the same way.” username=””]
Some needs are pre-requisite for other needs to subsequently be met or for certain things you desire to occur in your life. It doesn’t matter whether you have a full plate or not, make it a priority to know what you need and get those needs met first. Otherwise, you are silently working against the grain of your progress, and it will show up later, I promise. The lack of maintenance can show up in your health, your personal and professional relationships, your finances, your career performance, etc. Believe me, the apparent neglect will be hard to miss and could cost you dearly.
Sometimes you have to make concessions, compromise, and be flexible. Even in those instances, you shouldn’t ignore your needs. If you have a lifestyle where there is no room to take care of your needs, you’re exhausted and feel like you’re drowning, then its time to make a change before it’s too late. Realistically, you won’t last long at that pace, and you’ll start seeing the cracks show in your life before the levy breaks. If there is no change to improve these conditions, you are putting everything at risk. Continuation in this manner is counter-productive and leads to negative results, sometimes the kind you can’t reverse. Nothing and no one is worth all of that!
Decide to put your needs first and work everything else around them. You can’t be at your best for anyone, including yourself if you don’t take care of your needs first. Don’t let anyone guilt you into believing this is being selfish. It’s self-preservation, and everyone else around you benefit by default. Your body will tell you what it needs if you listen and take action. Your intuition (aka gut instinct) will also tell you what is best for you if you trust it. And your common sense will even back you up too!
So Woosah … and make sure those needs are met!
Love ❤️ it!!
Thank you Cara!
Another great post Christmas! I can relate well because until this year I was putting everyone else’s needs before my own and I was MISERABLE! I felt lots of guilt at first but I’m glad I stopped doing that because it was very unhealthy for me.
Thank you Pamela!
I really enjoyed this post! Excellent points made. For me I realized I can’t please everyone all the time and then when I did it wasn’t enough. Great post!
Thank you Deb! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂
My sister told me about you a long time ago. I decided to finally check out your site. This post spoke to me because men need to take care of themselves too. I’m a caregiver by nature but often find myself running on fumes having nothing left to give. Thank you for the reminder Ms. Miller!
Thank you Ralph!