Every person in a relationship, looking for a relationship, or wants to have one in the future should have “deal breakers” in mind. These stopgaps allow you to stay true to what you believe is fundamental in a relationship. It may seem harsh to create lines that cannot be crossed, as conditions change between relationships, but in reality, they aren’t harsh at all—they allow you to protect yourself from unhealthy relationships. What’s more, they will enable you to find the perfect partner who will cherish you, make you happy, and be there for you at all times. For those looking for an ideal partner, please keep these top relationship deal breakers in mind.

Unfaithful

If your partner is unfaithful, that should be an instant deal-breaker. Relationships thrive when there is mutual trust, commitment, and devotion. You cannot truly be happy and content in a relationship where your partner lies about their feelings, acts as though they were single, and shows they’re not solely interested in you.

Rather than let someone take advantage of you, cut off any relationships with someone unfaithful. Find someone who appreciates you, is committed to you 100% of the time, and only wants to be with you. It’s not hard to be loyal and faithful if you intend to do it, truly love, and respect that person. Yes, relationships can be challenging, but cheating and being unfaithful is a choice.

Abuse

When it comes to an ideal partner, there should be no tolerance to abuse. Physical abuse is a clear form of abuse to avoid. However, it’s important to remember that abuse is not only physical—it comes in many forms. People suffer from emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. What’s more, it comes in differing degrees.

People can experience abuse that seems harmless—just a few toxic comments here and there—but that adds up in the long term. With time, such sparse abuse can eat at your self-confidence, happiness, and emotional health. Rather than tolerate even modest abuse at the beginning of a relationship, make it a deal-breaker and cut off a relationship at the first site of continual abuse.

The Same Issues Continue to Arise

Piggybacking off abuse, when you’re in a relationship where problems persist, take that as a red flag. If you’ve brought up a sensitive topic to your partner, and they don’t seem to care or to put in the effort to change, you have a problem on your hands.

When you experience the same problems after discussing them, you have a deal-breaker in the making. Don’t stand for it; otherwise, in the future, you will become prone to tolerating the behavior and making excuses for them or see more serious matters swept aside. 

Jealousy Problems

While jealousy can be normal, when it’s over-the-top, you have a problem on your hands. Jealousy can often be unwarranted, and when it is, it’s toxic, damaging to the relationship, and even childish. Being friends with people of the opposite sex is normal and healthy. If you have a partner who is jealous to the point where they try to control who you are friends with, that’s a deal-breaker.

Any grown man or woman trying to control another adult telling them who they can be friends with should cause you to run for the hills. You cannot EVER allow jealousy with your partner to overrun your other relationships.

Consistent Fighting

While it’s normal not to get along 100% of the time with your partner, it isn’t normal to fight over the same things. Similarly, arguments and disagreements are fine—verbal fighting is not okay, especially those below the belt. If you and your partner consistently have fights over the same topics, no matter what it is, that means you two have different ideas on the subject. And likely, those ideas aren’t changing. Fine. But don’t let it get nasty and heated. 

Depending on the issue that leads to these heated arguments, you may have a deal-breaker. And some topics get heated quickly – try to avoid them, or at a minimum, agree to disagree. Most importantly, you don’t want to stay in a relationship where fighting is regular and normal. This condition in a relationship isn’t healthy for anyone and will continue to worsen.

They’re Selfish

A one-sided relationship isn’t healthy, good, and only benefits one person, not both. There must be a similar amount of giving and taking between you and your partner. Plus, your partner should never make you feel guilty about a sacrifice they’re making. They should be willing to do things they don’t exactly want to do and not make a big deal about it.

If your partner is selfish, doesn’t care about your values, ideas, likes, dislikes, or needs, that should be a deal-breaker.

Future Desires Are Not Aligned 

Last but not least on the list of deal breakers is what your partner wants in the future. Do you disagree with having kids? Do you have the same work aspirations, ethics, financial goals, or retirement ideas? 

If your partner’s future desires drastically differ from yours, you should consider that a deal-breaker. The ideal partner is someone you can share your life with and see yourself with for the long haul. But not someone you have to cut and paste and fit into your life. Many people make the biggest mistake with potential partners by not being honest with themselves. When two people want drastically different things from their futures, a long-standing relationship may be difficult to impossible to maintain.

When it comes to finding the ideal partner, you need to be picky. If something feels off, that probably means something is wrong with the relationship. Trust your gut feeling, know your deal-breakers, and don’t be afraid to say no and walk away from someone you know isn’t your ideal partner.