Looking for your sweetspot?
Finding your sweet spot of wellbeing can be a challenge in today’s world. With everyone and everything consistently battling negative thoughts, negative news, negative feelings, and situations, it’s no wonder it feels hard to be happy. You often hear people say that happiness is a state of mind and it’s true. But how can one be happy and satisfied, let alone stay satisfied when surrounded by so much negativity?
Believe me; I understand the challenge. Just because I assist people with seeing their options and providing valuable insight doesn’t take away their journey of “doing the work” and experiencing that process. It also doesn’t remove me from working through my own challenges. Not at all! Despite the best information you get, you still have to do the work required. That work defines your unique method which leads you to your sweet spot.
Fact: No cookie-cutter method works the same for everyone, and there’s no quick fix to most issues. It is a process. How long that takes depends on you.
The problem with working through this type of process, particularly in today’s time is lack of patience. And it’s not hard to see the impact from two extremes of our current world and societal spectrums; from instant gratification and immediate access spurred from technological advancements and economic means to the discomfort experienced from lack of emotional and physical wellbeing and basic needs. All which should be balanced priorities in establishing, improving and maintaining wellbeing. The absence of emotional and physical wellbeing can and do strain one’s ability to be happy and usher in other potential problems.
I once heard someone say, “Wellbeing is feeling you have options in the face of challenges.” So how does one find these options? First, let’s address the Happiness Factor. Your happiness depends on you. Once you understand that it starts with you and ends with you, then you can begin to reframe your life and how you see it and then build a foundation of supportive elements to keep you happy. Now as to wellbeing, I will share with you three key perspectives. These are the “how to get to that wellbeing state of mind” first, and the rest will follow. I believe this perspective I’m about to share can help shift your approach to wellbeing and help you leverage your options in the face of challenges and finding happiness.
Why? Because you can find all kinds of things that make you happy (temporarily or long-term) but it’s keeping this steady and constant is the point. The steps aren’t complicated, but changing from old habits may be the challenge. It takes practice and consistency to break old habits. With patience, determination and persistence, I’m sure you will experience significant breakthroughs. Here’s how you can go about this change:
Change how you look at the situation
Most people react negatively (even if they hide it on the outside) to something uncomfortable, painful or undesired. The key is to step back and look at the situation objectively from a detached perspective and find the alternative options available. If you do this, you’ll find them. Negativity is blinding! It robs you of wellbeing. When you are in pain, it’s hard to think clearly or allow yourself to see opportunities.
The point is not to hold on to the negative experience but rather acknowledge those feelings and move through them in a safe place and manner then move forward. Holding on to anything negative hurts you more than anything and anyone else over the long term. Ask yourself at that moment how do I feel about this situation? If they are negative feelings and emotions, then you know they aren’t productive or helpful. At that point, you have to shift your feelings from that negative space otherwise it can go downhill fast.
If you struggle with feelings of negativity, then read 10 Ways to Combat Feelings of Negativity and Disappointment, I’m sure you will find helpful methods in my blog.
Control the Amount of Impact It Has on You
Notice I said how much impact you will allow it to have on you. That wasn’t a mistake. I realize that there are times when things happen that appear unfair or just plain wrong. I know that life can be cold at times and make a person feel they are alone. The truth is you’re not alone, and you don’t have to feel this way. You can do something about it. Being alone is a choice. Asking for help is also a choice. Although doing so may be tough for some of you, understand you aren’t meant to experience life alone in a box.
But what about when you suffer hardship or tragedy? I can hear some of you say, “Chris, this situation or experience was devastating!” and I get it. Believe me, I do but what will guarantee you’re moving further away from wellbeing is focusing on what is/was devastating or rehashing it emotionally and mentally until you feel trapped in that painful cycle. And yes, it can get worse from there.
There are infinite ways of attracting and manifesting negativity on your own merits of thinking and feelings just as there are countless ways of attracting and manifesting positivity and opportunities. The question then becomes, which will you choose?
Choose How You Will Deal with It
Rather than focusing on what’s wrong and not working or how much pain you’re in, instead, focus on the power you have and how you will use it. You can do one of two things. You can heal and rise above your challenge, or you can allow it to drown you or snuff the life out of you. As harsh as that sounds, it is the truth. Your power is your choice, your choice of how you allow or disallow something to impact you.
There are many examples of tough situations that occur in our world regularly. But there are also many examples of people choosing not to let those situations define them and steal way their choice. Choose to exercise your power of choice in ways that benefit your overall wellbeing and push through your challenge. Practice mindfulness because this will help you deal with your problems one at a time, emotionally and physically while staying grounded. Your perspective will change to become more inspired and empowered to tackle any challenges that come your way.
Remember, life is a journey of experiences. You are a pivotal part of how these experiences unfold. You can control how you deal with your choices, and you can equally change the types of options you attract. And when you have those tough moments, and you will; remember you’re human. Give yourself a break, dust off your knees, find the gratitude for what’s working in your life, then keep moving forward.